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YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!!....

As I go through life I encounter many folks who think they understand and know how I feel. They think they know what I have gone through and can understand every facet, every thought, every action or every emotion that I have. You think you know me!

Yes, we may share similar episodes in our live

s but similar does not mean that you have worn my boots and have gone through the good times or the times of turmoil that I have gone through. We may have “Similar” parts of our lives that we can share, but the way we react and deal with them is different. The way you deal with things is not the way I deal with those same things. 
You think you know me!


You don’t know my feelings. You don’t know my pain. You can’t comprehend how I deal with the demons of past misfortunes and actions. You cannot comprehend the fact that I battle with the demons of my past as I simultaneously battle with the demons of the present in order to prevent them from destroying me. You don’t understand the way I feel nor do you know what thoughts I have racing through my mind as I try and keep the last threads that hold my inner being and the family that I love together from unraveling.  
You think you know me!


You may think that I don’t like taking on the responsibility of several things in life, but what you don’t see is that I have and work with so many responsibilities on a daily basis that I have trouble prioritizing my responsibilities. That same issue is fueled by the fear of failing in one or all things asked of me. I have failed many times in life and I have done the best I can to rebound from those failures. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to all of you and sit through your endless suggestions on how you would have done things different or what you would do now. You are not me! I don’t need to mentally relive my failures in order to make my life better. You think you know me!

I don’t travel through life without emotions. I just prefer not to show those emotions. I remain silent in my solitude many times because not many people can just listen without criticizing my thoughts or emotions. You encourage me to say what is on my mind and then chastise me for what I say because it may not be what you want to hear. You think you know me!

You continue to comment how I have it made in life. My life is so great and I have the “Cat by the ass.” What you don’t see is that I still live from paycheck to paycheck, struggling to provide for my family and financially keep our existence afloat in a world full of economic failure and broken promises. You fail to see or learn of the many sacrifices that I have made, or my family has made in order for me to serve you and this country so that you would not have to put your own life on hold or on the line. I’ve earned my checks and I’ve earned my existence. You think you know me!

I am not suicidal!  I deal with the everlasting emotions of how I have caused so much pain for the ones that I love and have wondered if they would have been better off with someone else as their Son, Father, or Husband. You think you know me!

I have a true passion for what it is that I have done! I didn’t devote my self to the selfless service that I gave in order to seek the recognition or fame. I have always welcomed the sincere thank you or appreciation from people who appreciate the time, devotion and sacrifice I have put into making this country great. If you are not sincere about it, don’t shake my hand or say anything.  Just pass me by and leave me alone. I'm not one to use as a “good deed for the day” mark that you can feel good about yourself because you told a Soldier Thank-you. I can see the sincerity in your eyes as you shake my hand. If it isn’t there, you will get a cold shake as I look into your eyes and restrain myself from expressing my emotions or punching you in the throat.
YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!!